lunes, 14 de mayo de 2012

Sexo en la primera cita


Me parece increíble que, a estas alturas, estemos todavía elucubrando con el tema de que la mujer debe reservarse y hacerse desear y quedar como una buena chica, porque están las “chicas para tener algo serio” y las otras, "las fáciles" a las que siempre se abandona.
Lo único que deberíamos tener en cuenta para decidir tener sexo en la primera cita es la situación, el momento y los propios deseos, sin pensar si en el futuro puede haber una relación seria. Es decir, lo único que debería “mandar” es la libertad personal.

He conocido hombres que
pierden el interés o desprecian en cierto grado a las mujeres que se acuestan con ellos en la primera cita. Si lo pensamos fríamente, por mucho que se espere a la tercera o a la cuarta cita, el tipo éste seguirá siendo un cenutrio.
Por otro lado, también he conocido hombres que afirman que no vuelven a quedar con una mujer si ella no llega a su cama en la primera cita porque consideran que ella es una reprimida. Ídem que para los anteriores.

Las
viejas reglas han cambiado y, mientras elaboramos las nuevas o cada uno se construye sus normas (que siempre se pueden transgredir, tampoco hay que ser tan rigido…), quizá deberíamos hacer lo que nos apetezca.

Hombres y mujeres tradicionales

Según una encuesta realizada por el portal de contactos serios Parship, un porcentaje significativo de hombres y mujeres prefieren tener un contacto no sexual en la primera cita. Es decir, que haya algún beso, pero nada de llegar “demasiado lejos”. Un 40% de los hombres entrevistados y un 44% de las mujeres son partidarios de abrazos, besos y algún roce, pero sin que la carne llegue al asador.

Como reflejo de las viejas costumbres y antiguos tabús, los
hombres están más dispuestos a acostarse en la primera cita (33%) que las mujeres (15%), pero no sabemos si está llegando una nueva ola de conservadurismo puesto que una diría que el porcentaje de hombres que quieren sexo debería ser, al menos el doble.

Curiosamente, un
24% de las mujeres no son partidarias de besos y abrazos y prefieren que la primera cita acabe sin ningún acercamiento, sólo con miradas y coqueteos. Sólo un 9% de los hombres son partidarios de esta opción.

Suecia
(¡ah las suecas que espabilaron un poco a los hombres españoles!) es el país donde hay un mayor porcentaje de mujeres que prefiere el sexo en la primera cita: un 23%.

Razones por las que sí…

-Porque te apetece.
-Porque el momento lo pide, el cuerpo te lo pide, la situación te lo pide y estás deseando arrancarle la ropa a mordiscos o zarpazos.
-Porque no tiene por qué ser cierto eso de que si tienes sexo en la primera cita él pierda el interés. Y si es así, es que quizá no es el hombre que se ajusta a tu personalidad
-Porque igual eres tú la que sólo quiere sexo. Y el día después, pues ya veremos...

-Porque ya está bien de ir con estrategias a estas alturas. Al fin y al cabo, si nos reprimimos y seguimos la pauta de la "tercera cita" perpetuamos la
incomunicación entre hombres y mujeres y la idea de que los hombres quieren aprovecharse de las mujeres y de que las mujeres tienen que protegerse de los hombres ¡Ja!
-Porque en el sexo consensuado nadie se aprovecha de nadie.
Porque el sexo es un placer más, como comer un helado o ir a cenar o escuchar música.

-Porque si tiene verdadero interés, de la naturaleza que sea, volverá. Y si no vuelve, hay muchos pececitos en el mar…

-Porque la regla de la tercera cita tampoco funciona (y tampoco es que haya que hacerlo en la tercera cita por obligación).




-Porque la regla de la tercera cita es aburrida y te resta naturalidad.
-Porque por el sexo puedes conocer más a la otra persona y uno de los dos o ambos podéis descubrir una parte nueva del otro.
-Porque si el sexo entre los dos es un desastre, ¿para qué esperar a la tercera cita para descubrirlo? Cuando ya hayan ilusiones por medio y, por la inercia, corramos el riesgo de cargar con un cenutrio o un paquebote (también se puede poner en femenino, paquebota).
-Porque a estas alturas no deberíamos dejar que la sociedad o nuestra educación nos dicten cómo debemos vivir.

¿Por qué no…?

-Porque la opinión dominante es que si hay sexo en la primera cita significa que no hay verdadero interés en la relación. Según 2/3 de los 500 entrevistados por Eric Heggmann para su estudio sobre las reglas del dating: cómo encontrar pareja y no perderla. Pero, ¿qué pasa si encontramos a alguien que es de nuestra misma forma de pensar? Pues que el cielo es el límite...

-Porque según algunos psicólogos las parejas tendrían una
base más sólida si hubieran esperado a tener sexo después de la primera cita. También (según otros expertos), si en lugar de casarse o de comprar una hipoteca en la fase de enamoramiento esperaran a consolidar la relación.
-Porque las nuevas reglas, según los expertos en parejas, dictan que se debería esperar hasta la segunda.
-Porque, en realidad, no te apetece y no quieres dejarte enredar.
-Porque te apetece, pero tu instinto te dice que no. Haz siempre caso a tu sexto sentido.


(Fuente. Alicia Misrahi (www.lamaletaroja.com))

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